#PanicAttack

I have to admit that I have panic attacks pretty often. These bursts of alarm that make my body tense up and cause my already shakey hands to tremble even more. My chest tightens. My breaths shortens. My head clouds up in this great mental fog. Sometimes, I cry. Sometimes, I get sweaty. Sometimes, I become nauseous and want to vomit. For five to ten minutes (it really depends how strong the attack is), I sit still, feeling like I’m a witness to the end of the world and there is nothing that I can do to fix anything.

Over the last couple of months, I’ve gotten better at recognizing when these panic attacks are about to occur. I try my best to avoid situations where I feel extreme amounts of stress. Of course, life doesn’t work out that way. When I feel one coming on, I find a place to sit down, let the feelings hit me and then, start counting my breaths. I note how my chest rises with each breath in and out. I then start with my affirmations- I tell myself that I’m going to be okay. That this moment will not last forever. That everything is going to be okay and that I can fix my problems. Sometimes, when the attacks are especially intense, I reach out. I call a friend, one of my parents and have them help soothe. I embrace these feelings and ride out the wave.

In college I watched my friend, Patrick, have a panic attack on my office floor. I felt so helpless- I didn’t know what to do to help. But now, I do. If someone you love is having an attack, keep calm. Don’t brush off the validity of their attack. Don’t come with judgments. Encourage breathing. Stay with the person (and really do stay- stay in person and stay presence). Reassure that person with kind words like, you will get through this. I am proud of you. What you are feeling is scary, but it is not dangerous. If the person is open to physical touch, I will hold their hand or rub their back. I make the person feel as safe and loved as possible- the same way that I want to be treated in the middle of an attack.

I’m all about transparency- it’s okay to have panic attacks and it’s okay to be open about them.

As 2019 starts to rear her head, I think about who I want to be and what I want to achieve in the new year. I’ve always been open about my mental health and with my strengths and struggles with depression and anxiety. But I know that I can do more, be more. While a part of me wishes that I went to medical school (so I could actually treat people), the other part knows that my words have power. I can write more about my experiences with mental health and hopefully, educate others. It is with education that we can increase awareness and understanding. So today, I write about my experience with panic attacks with the hope that you, dear reader, can feel connected and maybe one day, can help yourself or a loved one.

Do you have panic attacks, dear reader? Take care of yourself (and happy Thanksgiving).