Over the weekend, my boyfriend and I were having a “discussion.” One of the things that I love about Amit is how we talk about the things that bother us. For the first time in my relationship history I’m trying to fix problems, not my partner. It’s a difficult trait to change in myself but I feel like I’m a better girlfriend because of it. At the end of our talk, I was so filled with emotion and Amit was smiling at me in the most goofy way. I just blurted out, “I love you!”
I knew that I felt this way about Amit for the last couple of weeks. Our relationship has been an interesting one. We talk often about our future as couple and what that looks like. For the majority of my life, I thought that relationships like this: You meet. Date for a couple of months. Fall in love and express it to each other. After a year of dating, move into together. Live together for a year and get engaged. Plan your lavish wedding and get hitched. Two years later, have a baby. And a few years later, have another. And during that time, you are completely devoted to one another, absolutely happy and in love with each other.
Well, that “perfect” relationship doesn’t exist.
I’m letting go of a lot of relationship “truths” these days. I thought the perfect relationship had to look a certain way (ie: that you have to be head over heels in love with your partner all day, every day and be together constantly as a pair, or that a relationship has to be completely and totally equal, with equal give and take). But there is no wrong way to have a good, strong and loving relationship.
After I told Amit that I loved him, he didn’t say it back. Instead, he told me that he really cared about me and was happy to be my boyfriend. Old me would have been upset with him not saying that he loved me back. But new me is feeling secure with his response and where our relationship is headed. I’m no longer putting my expectations on to a timeline. I just want to enjoy hanging out with my boyfriend and not put rush into anything. Of course, I want him to love me. But I know that he needs to feel it- and say it- on his terms. I know that our relationship isn’t perfect but that this moment, it’s perfect for us.
How is your love life, dear reader?